Those stingy sugar daddies

Those stingy sugar daddies

One of the best things about dating a man who classifies himself as a ‘sugar daddy’, is that he believes he is 100% in control of your relationship. He believes that because he has the means to provide you with an amazing lifestyle, the money to pay your rent and living costs, and treat you to the best bars and restaurants, he is the one in the driving seat. He couldn’t be more wrong, and women need to realise this in order to get the most out of the relationship. The wonderful aspect of the world of sugar dating, is that for every sugar baby (that isn’t a classified prostitute) there are about 5 men willing to splash the cash. Again, I have always argued that you should never enter a relationship with someone you aren’t physically attracted to or able to reach an emotional connection with. If you find them fully annoying, ugly, or misogynistic to another level, you probably should not be in that relationship.

However, when dating an older man who has the means to treat you and enrich your lifestyle, it is important to always remain in control. For example, I dated an older man one summer in London, I was very attracted to him and really loved his personality. To me, he was absolutely amazing and could do no wrong. Hence, the ball was always in his court. By the end of the relationship I felt exploited. He was only seeing me when he wanted to, the relationship largely revolved around sex, and despite my dire financial situation, he wouldn’t even help me with rent! The key here is… do not have sex. Ladies, sex is an absolute weapon to these men. It is a driving force behind them pursuing younger women. How could it not be? Yes, some men may be pursuing sugar relationships out of boredom, loneliness, or they may genuinely enjoy the younger company. But the majority will want to have a sexual relationship with a 21 year old, who is not in the midst of moody menopause, stressed about losing baby weight, or has weight creeping on from her incessant wine drinking. By withholding sex (at least until you have ascertained they are truly interested in you) you hold all the power. This is true of pursuing any ordinary relationship, so why should it be different with a sugar daddy?

I once went on a date with a man who I had been speaking to for a few weeks. He was VERY interested, and I suspect the majority of that interest was derived from sexuality. On our first date, he gave me £1000 in cash because I had MENTIONED my existing overdraft. One kiss later, he transfers me £500. Another week of calling/texting, he sends me another £700. I ended it then as I knew I did not want to pursue the relationship further, even though it was apparent he was extremely generous and would help me extensively. However, this proves my point. It was almost as if the thought of us being together was so exciting to him that he was desperate to throw money at me, so I would want him. I didn’t and the whole experience left me looking at him as sort of desperate. If I had slept with him straight away, perhaps it would have been an anti climax for him, or he would have decided he was no longer interested. Instead the ball was in my court, and I was in charge.

Men who feel they are in control because they have the money could not be more wrong. Realistically, if the majority of them were able to have relationships with the type of woman they are seeking on sites such as seeking arrangement, they would be. But they’re not, and yet they still seem to think they are in charge. We literally have the means to withdraw from the relationship if they are not being treated well, financially and emotionally. There are a million other men out there willing to treat us like we want to be treated — it is important to realise this and not settle for a man who is undesirable and unwilling to help you financially. What do they think the purpose of a sugar daddy relationship is?

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